It’s common to hear that we have ‘lost sight of what Christmas is really all about’.
For me, as someone who is gradually losing more and more of her sight with every Christmas that passes, I am having to work harder and harder to figure out how to navigate the various awkward situations that Christmas brings about!
Now, don’t get me wrong, Christmas as a blind person can be a magical time of year. So many smells and tastes and sounds to enjoy! However, it can also be a little bit like living inside a festive mystery novel at times, with no clues being forthcoming!
Take advent calendars, for example. I used to LOVE these as a kid, pressing my face up against them and squeezing my eyes tightly enough to JUST make out the number I was searching for.
These days, while everyone else gets a joyous daily reveal (a tiny reindeer or a chocolate shaped like an abstract boot, perhaps), I’m left desperately prodding the cardboard doors, like someone trying to crack a safe and hoping not to accidentally detonate a miniature Santa in the process!
Now, imagine an audio-described advent calendar. One where you get a link or QR code that allows you to listen to a description guiding you to the right place every day. Once you’ve found it, the surprise could also be described in all its festive, chocolatey and luxurious glory!
For me, this is an example of one of those things which may not seem like much on the surface but would mean the world. It would be a way of saying to blind and low vision advent calendar lovers, ‘you are still invited, still included and still welcome to be as young at heart as anybody else!’
These are the little messages that can work wonders on a person’s self-esteem and sense of worth – and surely that is a gift we all want to offer at Christmas. I know my supplies of those can always do with replenishing.
Next up, decorations! Nothing makes my heart sing more than when the twinkly fairy lights get strung up all over town.
Even with my very modest amount of vision, against a black night (or, let’s be honest, December mid-afternoon sky), I’m able to make out the colours and sometimes even guess at some of the shapes. When it’s rare that you can see anything, this is like sorcery in itself!
Still, I know I haven’t always helped myself over the years. When people would exclaim “Oh, LOOK at the tree!!” and I would politely turn my head towards a blur of lights, smile convincingly and pretend I could see every detail!
If I could go back to these moments now, I would ask: “What’s it like?” That way, the other person would have realised I couldn’t actually see it and I would have had the chance to enjoy it through their explanation.
I’ve realised over the years that while being blind can rob you of certain experiences, it also hands you others. What a fabulously festive way of connecting with someone, as they twitter on about the tinsel and gush about the tacky orangutan in a Santa hat!
Lastly, when the big day arrives, it’s the presents that are perhaps the biggest culprits of my social agony!
Someone hands me a beautifully wrapped box and I can feel their eyes on me as I open it. “Ooh, what is it?!” they say in mock surprise, as I reveal it to the room. And I sit there grinning moronically while thinking, “well, Janet my love, unless it smells of cinnamon or starts playfully nibbling at my jumper, I genuinely have no idea!”
Now, you may be thinking, ‘well, why not just ask?’ To which, I can only say that as a profound people pleaser, my automatic and over-the-top reaction of excitement and ecstasy immediately upon opening the gift (which, to be fair, has been drilled into us as an obligatory way to respond from a very young age so as not to come off as ungrateful) renders me then asking “um, what actually is it though?” a heck of a lot more difficult!
For me, the key here is subtlety. If you catch me looking a little confused, just confirm what I’m holding in an off-hand way. Something like ‘Oh what a lovely X!’ Or ‘Aah, I’ve always wanted one of those Ys!’
That way, I instantly feel connected and part of the group again instead of being the only one in the dark about my own pressies! This can also be hard when everyone is watching others open their gifts and you’re the only one who can’t join in the firework-style ‘Oohs’ and ‘Aahs’.
Let me tell you, if you’re the one in the room who fills me in on the details, you’ll definitely be the one getting the best presents next year from me!
The thing to remember is that none of this stops Christmas from being joyful. What it highlights though, is that a sprinkle of accessibility and a bit of narrating the visual chaos makes the whole season feel more welcoming.
Oh, and if there’s an inflatable Santa in your hallway, please make sure to warn me before I greet it like an old friend!
Inclusion is for life – not just for Christmas!